Friday, June 6, 2014

June Focus: In Limbo...

I sat in my seat on the airplane and watched the distance between myself and the ground grow more immense.  All the air felt as though it was being sucked from my lungs and I was fighting the mounting urge to grab the paper bag from the back pocket of the seat in front of me to prevent hyperventilation.

It was the moment that I had dreaded since long before I saw his face; the moment when I would have to leave my son on one side of the planet while I returned home to the other.  To be honest, that moment felt even worse than my dread had prepared me for and I was truly not sure I would make it.

We had met our son in Ethiopia just five days earlier and I had fallen even more in love with the little boy whose pictures had begun that process when we received his referral five months prior.  In some ways, our trip to meet our son had gone so much more smoothly than I'd envisioned; for two VERY unseasoned travelers, we were resourceful and navigated the trip somewhat seamlessly.  On the other hand, though, the trip had been rocky, our case had not been approved, and we had absolutely no idea when the issue would be resolved, paperwork filed, and we'd be asked to return to bring our son home.  Perhaps it was because of this uncertainty that stepping onto the plane to return home (without him) felt so heavy.  It was as if I'd turned my back on our boy and, although I never doubted IF we would return, I certainly questioned WHEN.

The ten weeks following contained some of the most difficult emotional days of my life.  I carried on with work and parenting and tried so hard to put a smile on my face and convince others what I truly believed...that God was in control...but, I was having a very hard time feeling it.

The rest of the story, of course, is that the issues were resolved, and that our son is home forever {PRAISE JESUS}!  

However, that time two years ago will never be lost in my story.  It was that portion of my wait, 

when we were truly

that God carried me when I could not stand and brought people into my life that poured into me, solidifying in my mind the importance of connection and encouragement.

This month, the Joy in the Journey blog will bring you stories that focus on those "In Limbo" times when God stretched, convicted, and allowed adoptive mamas to fully rely on Him as He placed just the right support into lives at just the right time.  We hope this month will serve as an encouragement to those of you currently in a difficult wait and will give cause for reflection for those of you He's carried through.

Much Love,

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