Friday, May 2, 2014

A Mother's Heart: Some Truths About Mother's Day and Adoption

This is the journey of life, a journey of love

My thoughts are brought tonight to motherhood, the joys and the sorrows. For so long, motherhood was a sorrow for me. Sixteen years of marriage and infertility left my arms empty and a hole in my heart. Then God completed our family through adoption.
This is the mother I want to honor on Mother’s Day. The woman who gave life to my baby girl, who unselfishly protected her, who loved her enough to choose life for her. She was a young woman, but married. Already had two other children, a boy and a girl. 3 and 2. This family was very poor and lived with the paternal grandparents., who essentially were taking care of the children. When Kaylee’s birth mom became pregnant with her, she chose to go and live and work with her sister in another province to hide Kaylee from the grandparents. When Kaylee was born, there was a moment of wanting to keep her, but being born premature, they discovered that she was missing her left kidney and the husband and wife felt they would not be able to care for her properly or afford future medical care.

This was our little blessing. I pray often for this family as they must feel something is missing. They must wonder how she is. I wonder often is Kaylee looks like her siblings. Does she have her brother or her sister’s personality? This was a very brave woman that should be honored on Mother’s Day. I know she has to feel incomplete. But I know she has taken comfort in knowing that Kaylee is with a family that loves her very much and can help her grow into a beautiful young woman. Thank you, Lord, for giving this brave young woman the strength to put her child first and trust in You. Without her beautiful life, I would not have my beautiful daughter. Please send her a special blessing this Mother’s Day.
The other mothers I want to honor are those who have become mothers in their hearts and are waiting for a referral of their child. I know how desperate the wait can become, how hollow the heart can be. My prayer for you is that you take this waiting time to spend time with God and ask Him for courage and strength for the journey ahead. That the moment you lay eyes on your chosen child, the tears of sadness will become tears of joy. It is coming, I promise.
Be faithful. God already has it all laid out for you. You have chosen the journey, let God guide your steps. You are already a mother, you already love this faceless child. Use this time to grow in your walk with Jesus and prepare your heart for the joys that lie ahead. This sorrow will turn to joy. God is good all the time.
There are also the mothers who are waiting to travel. I know it is very hard to see your child through pictures, to want to give to them hugs, kisses, and love up close and personal. I know it seems like the process is taking FOREVER to be able to finally hold this child in your arms. God has planned the most PERFECT time for that. It is a feeling beyond all feelings to touch the face of this child, the one whose face you have only seen in pictures. To finally see those little eyes blink at you. What an amazing sound to finally hear them breathing. Hold fast to the promise that it won't be long. God has given this child peace that you are coming. They know they have a family. This part of the journey will be so incredible!! Just hold on.....
I have been a mommy to Kaylee for only a few short years. In this time she has taught me pure love. Her eyes see no creed, no color. She has a heart of gold. She has taught me to focus on the things that matter, not the ones that don’t. We have learned together that it is okay to do things our own way, as long as we are loving and respectful. She brightens up any bad day and her hugs melt my heart every single time. She is more than I could have ever dreamed she would be. She has brought me immeasurable joy and love. There is no way that I could ever live without her. We are like peanut butter and jelly smacked between two pieces of bread. We are stuck on each other! Her medical condition has taught me to trust in God and not limit myself on what I think I am capable of handling. Every single trial makes me stronger and more proud to be her mom. She is becoming a confident, bright, beautiful young girl. I am thankful that God chose me to share in her life.
Motherhood is a privilege, a journey. There are no perfect mothers, and no perfect children. My only prayer is that God continues to hold my hand as I hold Kaylee’s hand, as we journey through this life together. This is an incredible adventure, one that will sometimes have way more valleys than mountaintops, but when we are in the valleys, we can see the mountaintops, and when we are on the mountaintops we know it won’t be for long. This is the journey of life, the journey of love. I thank God for the journey. I praise Him for the beautiful gift of motherhood. This is no greater privilege.
Kaylee, mommy loves you very much. You are my sunshine and my fresh spring rain. We are on a lifelong journey together. I am so honored that God chose me to be your mommy.  I am honored that my first Mother's Day with you was in Taiwan holding your sweet hand. Please be patient with me as we go on this journey together. I love you so much. I am so glad you are mine.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mama's out there! May God bless you this year in your journey, wherever you may be in it.

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