LIFE LESSONS: what adoption is teaching me

Groaning yet Gifted in Waiting

A couple weeks ago at church, the preacher was talking about “waiting.” Elbowing my husband, knowing what “waiting” has meant for us lately.  As he went on describing how difficult “waiting” can be, tears filled my eyes--because we’ve been in a long season of waiting--and groaning. Waiting. It is so hard. We are powerless, yet we know the One who is powerful.

For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. Romans 8:22

We are waiting for an adoption referral (an official match and invitation for us to travel to meet the children) for 2 boys, who are brothers, in separate orphanages. We’ve been waiting over a year to meet these sons. The waiting is miserable, faith shaking, and emotionally draining. Hope deferred truly does make the heart sick. (Proverbs 13:12) We mostly feel a mixture of helplessness and hope that we will able to adopt them. Every day is filled with new hope and repeated disappointment.

Waiting makes us groan but it is also a gift.

Flash forward 11 months, and fly over the enormous mountain of paperwork, fees, fundraising, and learning everything we could about adoption. This process has been beautifully gifted with God’s presence, His provision, and His power.

His presence:

I’ve never felt such deep comfort and tender care from God as I have experienced this past year. His nearness and help has come at the perfect moments. I know He is with me, loving and guiding my heart in waiting. When the waiting is especially hard, my groaning has been met with tender reminders that He is holding all things together. He is loving these sons more than I can. Comfort through scripture reminds me that all the members of my family, near and far, are being helped. 

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

His provision:

We had to raise the money to cover costs. Having never fundraised before, we were timid yet trusting that God would provide what was necessary for the adoption. We invited our community to help us. It has been amazing to see God provide! Through bake sales, garage sales, donations, grants, and many loving acts of service we have received everything needed for our adoption journey. Our faith in God’s promise to provide for His children is secure and grateful! 

His power:

Waiting to adopt has proven to be a gift of seeing God’s power at work. We are not messiahs; we are adoptees into the Messiah’s family. He has given us His own name—we are “in Christ”. We are but one family called to just one part of the Messiah’s mission in the world, adoption. We’ve seen His power to change us, comforting, providing financially, blessing us with community, calming our weary and worrying hearts. His power has given us His spirit to guide us through making wise decisions and giving us strength to endure the waiting.

What a gift this waiting has been! We groan, yes, but we know that our God is powerful and attentive to us as we wait. He is faithful!

“The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.” Deuteronomy 32:4

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Trisha Wilkerson (Seattle, Washington) Christian, wife to Mike (pastor at Mars Hill Church), momma & homeschooler to 4 almost 6 (adopting two boys from Latvia), and author of Everyday Worship, Our Work, Heart, and Jesus http://tinyurl.com/mm5822j 

**As you read this, the Wilkersons are in Latvia for the adoption of their sons!  Please join the Joy in the Journey ministry as we pray for an amazing trip and smooth transition for this sweet family!**

Tag your Friends GIVEAWAY

If you've visited the Shopping with a Purpose tab at all, you've probably noticed those delicious-looking Jollypops by the Shubert family {of Crafting a Family}.  

These lollypops are homemade using one of America's favorite hard candies :) by the Shuberts, who are waiting for a referral of their second child.

Jollypops are PERFECT for parties, giveaways, or gifts and every cent you spend on them helps bring the next Shubert baby home.  And, in addition, the Shuberts also have beautiful scarves and necklaces for sale.

Ready to order?!  Click here to head over to their facebook page and place an order for your next event today!

You can also read about the Shuberts' adoption journey on their blog at http://hearttoheartshuberts.blogspot.com/.

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Now for the GIVEAWAY!!

Heather has graciously agreed to give away one dozen Jollypops to one lucky winner.

To enter:

• Click HERE to go to the Joy in the Journey Facebook page.
• Make sure that you have "liked" the page.
• Click "share" to share the FB page on your own FB wall.
• Tag as many friends as you can think of that would benefit from the Joy in the Journey ministry.
• Leave a comment on the Facebook post that says "COMMENT HERE FOR GIVEAWAY" telling us how many friends you tagged.
• You will receive one entry for every tagged friend...no limit!

Giveaway ends at 8:00 p.m. Central on Monday, August 26th, 2013.

Winner will be posted on the Joy in the Journey Facebook page.  

P.S.  Don't forget that we LOVE to feature adoption fundraisers!  If you're interested in free advertising, click here or here for information on how to get your Shopping with a Purpose event featured!

LIFE LESSONS: what adoption has taught me

What has adoption taught me?

When you are given a question like this, filling a blank screen with words feels like a daunting task.

So as my cursor keeps blinking and my mind keeps wandering, I find myself with an answer that I don’t really want.

The fact that there is adoption reminds me and teaches me that the world we are in is broken.

For disease should never strike, famine should never kill, and children should never cry with no one to answer. 

And if I let it, adoption could point me further and further down the rabbit hole of brokenness.

But instead adoption points me to some One even greater.

The truth of the matter is that adoption is less about the brokenness and more about the setting of things right.

So when I see adoptive parents dancing with their kids or the smiles of my own children I can’t help but remember the words of a God who would say, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice for they will be filled”.  Matthew 5:6

Isn’t that what this is? 

Isn’t adoption a piece of bringing justice to a world that is unjust? 

Isn’t it just following the footsteps of a God who wants to make all things new? 

Aren’t we now blessed and truly filled because we hunger for what God wants us to hunger for?

So what is it truly that adoption has taught me? 

That I am blessed when I thirst for what is right. 

And I am filled when I fight for what is just. 

And there is great joy in the journey of bringing God’s kingdom to earth as it is in Heaven.

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My name is Brennan Conklin.  My wife of 10 years is Janna. 

We have adopted our three children from Taiwan; Lyndlee, Gavin, and Israel.  We currently serve at Real Life Church in California.

Joy in the Journey Retreat {the Vision}

It wasn’t until I got home from the Created for Care Retreat in Atlanta, Georgia this past March that I began to get REALLY excited about the reality of connecting and encouraging other adoptive women through a retreat in our area.

You see, I had the opportunity to spend time with {read: cry with, laugh with, worship with, and be loved by} three amazing women that I had “met” throughout our adoption journey.  It was a weekend filled with so much healing from a long adoption process that had left me more wounded than what I had previously realized, and I left that retreat feeling so rejuvenated and hopeful.  The Created for Care retreat for me was exactly what my heart needed and I believe that is why God orchestrated the opportunity for me to attend.

While at the retreat, I went to a session called “Hosting Your Own Mini-Retreat” where two women spoke about the Created for Care Mini-Retreat that they were planning and I was totally inspired.  I LOVED the idea of bringing a retreat to our area and striving to start small and make it affordable for adoptive mamas.

As I sat at that session, God clearly brought to mind my two friends, Tiffany {my childhood friend since 7^th grade} and Shannon {who Tiffany had introduced me to just the previous year}.  I could almost envision Him standing in front of me, whispering that this was the reason I was at the conference…to be inspired to bring this home and minister to other adoptive women.  I sent a text to my friends and told them to be prepared; God was about to call us to put together and host an adoptive mini-retreat.  I quickly received replies that said that sounded great and that they wanted to know more!  {Have I mentioned that I LOVE these two?!}

Soon after returning home, the time arrived for the three of us to go out to dinner and I launched into the word that I’d received at the retreat.  I had no doubt that these two ladies would support this idea, but I truly underestimated the level of enthusiasm they would have!  We sat at Panera and poured idea after idea for the retreat for three and a half hours.  By the end of the evening, we had a huge list of specifics that we felt the Holy Spirit was leading us to explore in regards to the retreat including (but not limited to) location, breakout session ideas, ideas for speakers, worship ideas, and potential dates.  After a prayer begging God to be with us every step of the way in this endeavor, we each left with lists of to-dos and planned our next meeting for two weeks out.

Within those first two weeks, we received confirmation after confirmation that this retreat was truly the work of the Lord.  It was obvious that He was in the details, from our first choice of dates being the only available dates at the retreat center, to the fact that we were going to be able to stay in budget and keep the retreat affordable, to the level of enthusiasm that we received from other adoptive mamas when we shared what God was doing.  Another thing that happened within that first two weeks is that God gave us our retreat name, an adaptation of an E-book that features stories of 12 women finding “Joy in the Journey” during a difficult time.

Since that first meeting just a few short months ago, God has continued to confirm that He is faithful and that He is behind this ministry.  He loves adoption and He tells us in James 1:27 that caring for orphans is considered “pure and faultless”.  Our hope for the upcoming retreat is that we can be used by Him to minister to you; to point you to the Joy of our Father and to encourage you, even when the journey is hard.

Won't you consider joining us? 

Meet Tiffany

I am Tiffany.  The final piece to our adoption lovin' threesome!

I am a wife, mother, teacher, and most importantly a daughter of our King.  God has blessed me with an amazing husband who I have been married to for 9 years.  He always supports my crazy ideas and holds the fort down when I am off “working” on my greatest passion….adoption.  I always knew that adoption would eventually be in God’s plan for my family (we will get to that in a later blog) but what I didn’t know was that adoption would take me on two of the greatest journeys of my life, bringing my precious babes home.  I have been blessed with two of the most beautiful children in the world.  Kyler, my sensitive, hyperactive, momma loving boy is 6 years old and Kenzie, my strong willed, curious, daddy loving princess is two weeks away from turning one (tear).  Both of my children were adopted from the beautiful country of Taiwan. 

Over the past several years my heart towards adoption has exploded.  I have had the opportunity of helping so many families bring their children home and I have loved every minute of it.  The one piece of advice that has stayed constant through it all is this: finding joy in the midst of waiting, beauty from ashes, seeing Jesus’ thread throughout every piece of the journey.  This was a very hard concept for me to learn when I was in the midst of my own process, but when I truly grasped this concept God grabbed my heart and allowed me to grow in Him in ways that I never thought possible.

I pray that this blog (and retreat) are a place where you can find hope, you can find support, and you can find growth…and just maybe, in the midst of all of that…you will learn to look up.  Thank you for joining us!  We are excited to see where God is going to take this dream.  Buckle up girls…it is going to be a crazy, fun ride! 

Meet Jen

Hi, friends!

I'm Jen, the second of the three dreamers that felt called by the Lord to help foster meaningful connections for adoptive mamas.  I am a Christ-follower and mother who happens to work outside the home for about 9 months out of the year as a school counselor.  It's such an honor to get to advocate for 4th and 5th graders during the school year in this position and I am thankful for this ministry.  I have been married to an amazing man of God for 13 years and am so grateful for the partnership that we have.  He not only tolerates my crazy ideas, but supports them in every way {by the way, honey, we're planning an adoptive mama retreat and a new blog.  It will take hours and several dinners away from you to plan and carry out.  Thanks for being awesome. <3 }

I have only been an adoptive mother for just over a year, a title bestowed upon me when we adopted our son, Bekele, from Ethiopia and brought him home last summer.  My journey to motherhood began several years prior when I gave birth to our daughter, Melia (now 8) and subsequently our son, Camden (now 6).  Adoption for all of us has been an amazing journey and picture of Christ's love and faithfulness.  We are grateful every day that God chose us to be the parents of these three amazing children who became a part of our family in two very different ways. 

Through our adoption of Bek, we made some amazing connections with other adoptive families, a community of people who just "got it".  Their friendships were and continue to be such a blessing in our lives, through the good, the bad, and everything in between on this journey of parenthood.  This, in conjunction with an event that I had the opportunity to be a part of, birthed a desire within me to foster connections in the adoptive community.  I believe that the encouragement of other people who are going through the same family changes as well as from those who have been there, done that (and found JOY through it) is priceless.

And that is exactly what I pray this blog (and the impending Joy in the Journey retreat) will do for you...encourage, foster connections, open communication, address the tough issues, and ultimately bring you to the joy that can be found through Christ regardless of your life circumstances.  I pray that through it all, you find joy and blessings in this journey of adoptive parenting.

Joy in the Journey: The Vision

We sat in a booth at a local restaurant in our hometown of Joplin, Missouri.  It was April 2012 and all three of us came to dinner with heavy burdens.  Each of the three of us held pictures of longed-for babies in our hands that we displayed as the proud mamas that we were.  Through our laughter and our tears, we shared our journeys with each other, connecting in a way that only waiting mamas can understand.  Our emotions were scattered, but the fellowship with each other, with other ladies who “got it,” was pure refreshment to our souls.

We marveled at how God had crossed our paths and how, after only a couple of hours that evening, we had built a deep bond and had discovered a glimpse of joy through connecting with others on the journey of adoption.  We dreamt big that night, or so we thought.  We knew that the connection and rejuvenation we had received should be shared with other women.  That’s when we realized our common goal: ministering to other adoptive mamas in all stages of the adoption process.

It wasn’t until a year later that our dreams were made even bigger when the Lord revealed how we could best do this in our community.  It was at that time that the inspiration for a local retreat open to adoptive mamas in all stages of the journey was realized.  Once we caught the vision of this retreat, we began to meet and work out the logistics.  Well, the truth is, God began to work out the logistics.  Throughout the process of planning this retreat, He has shown up again and again, working out the details and confirming that He is in this and that His heart is for this process…both for adoption and for finding and fostering Godly connections.  He is good and He gives us Joy in our Journey, even when things are difficult.

Our prayer is that this blog will bless your heart as an adoptive (or prospective adoptive) parent.  And, if you are able, our additional hope is that you will join us for our retreat…a place where you will be able to relax, rejuvenate, and make lasting connections that will help to foster joy in your own journey.